You know how some people refer to their children as the baby but they're not really the baby?
Well, Princess is truly and officially my baby. She's the youngest of 4 which is a big deal for a mommy.
And while I'm not what you'd call a sentimental gal, this particular birthday has had me in quite a tailspin.
I can't exactly pinpoint why I'm so befrazzled about this 4th birthday. I've been thru three previous 4th birthdays
and I've handled them quite calmly.
But this one....it's just....different.
I think it may be because this 4th birthday has entered me into a stage in my life that I've never seen.
For the past 13 years straight I've been able to classify my life into one (or 2 or 3!) of the following categories:
I've got a newborn.
I've got a toddler.
Each of those categories needs no explanation....they're self-containing....and they're a life unto themselves!
But 4....4 is different.
4 is 'big kid' material. And I don't like it.
This rebellion of mine towards the number 4 could also be due to the fact that this is, indeed, the last time I will ever experience any of my children having a 4th birthday....or a 3rd...or a 2nd.....or a 1st.....or the birth day in all it's excitement and anticipation. Hubby and I decided that having 4 creatures was more than blessed and hopefully Dr. Dorsey tied all the right things to make sure there's not 5 creatures anytime ever. And I'm ok with that....really....no regrets.
I believe I'm just realizing that this is the closing of a what's been a long, exhausting, exhilirating and ever-surprising chapter in this here life of mine. I never thought those days would end.
I'll miss them terribly.